The Cannon Fodder Strikes Back

Chapter 96 Extra Story: Naming + Little Bun

Kidney bean kid has been very depressed recently, no, not only depressed, but also a pain in the egg, although he doesn't know where the egg is and why it hurts...

The reason is very simple, because ever since he had a little brother, he felt that his parents don't, love, him, anymore!

Yes, you read that right, it's not that little JJ is a little brother, the kind born after ten months of pregnancy.

When it comes to this oil bottle who is jealous of him, we have to start talking about it a year ago.

It was a dark and windy night, and his mother, Mr. Han Jiang, because he overturned the jar of vinegar, kidnapped his papa, Comrade Yun Jinshu, from the set and went home. , there is no, there is, there is, there is a cover!

Then things turned into a tragedy, a seed of evil germinated quietly, and when it was discovered, it had been three months and the bastard could not be knocked out!

For a young lady who is only seven years old, he really doesn't want to admit such a harsh thing, but the truth is better than a bear's poop. After witnessing Papa's belly growing day by day with his own eyes, his young heart has been greatly affected. The sang harm, even the three views have collapsed.

Papa and Mama are going to have their own child

They sure won't want me again as a picked up kid

For God's sake, my life is so miserable...

As for why Kidney Bean was not surprised that men can have children, it was probably because he was too nervous, and the despair of being abandoned by his parents took over the high ground. He didn't realize it for a while.

"Woo... woo..."

The little bun was lying on the crib, covered with a water-blue blanket, and smirked at his brother standing beside him with one finger in his mouth. His big round and bright eyes never blinked, and his fair and tender face was full of smiles. A pair of dimples were exposed.

Kidney Dou glanced at him, turned his head, looked again, and turned his head again.

I don't want to admit that I really want to poke that dimple!

But it looks so soft and bouncy... I really want to pinch it, but it's swollen?

My brother hates it the most!Kidney Dou pursed her mouth arrogantly, glanced privately and found no one around, so she reached out and poked her younger brother's little face, although her heart would be broken...

Woohoo!So soft...

Kidney Dou stood on tiptoe, supported the railing beside the crib, and stretched out a finger to touch his younger brother's face. Those round eyes were full of surprise, and his little head was tilted to one side. .

"Woo... Aw..."

Little Baozi seemed to like this little brother very much, and he giggled happily, holding Kidney Dou's hand with his chubby little arms, raising his little feet in the air and clapping vigorously, his eyes narrowed in joy.

The milk doll, who is about to turn one year old, is soft and exudes the fragrance of milk. The little pink dress with hellokitty printed on her body makes the baby's face even more tender and attractive.

Kidney Dou feels that his cuteness is about to be poked out, and he can't wait to hug his younger brother and rub him hard, but his elder brother's majesty must be full, and he has never forgotten the "blood revenge" of this little guy who took away his parents! [Hey, what kind of blood feud is this! 】

So at this moment, he gritted his teeth, resisted the urge to hug his younger brother, puffed his cheeks and said, "Don't laugh at me, I don't know you well at all."

Nani?Little Baozi seemed to understand, he tilted his head with a quack, and looked at Baozi-faced brother with a harmless face, big eyes to small eyes.

"What do you look at, I'm just bullying you! Come and bite me, come and come."

Kidney seems to think that she can talk but her younger brother can't. She really has the advantage. Taking advantage of Yun Jinshu and Han Jiang's absence, she twitches in front of her younger brother in extreme embarrassment, completely forgetting that she is almost 7 years older than him. What a shame!

"Cluck...clack!"

Little Baozi, who was still cute at first, actually laughed cheerfully when he saw his brother dancing wildly in front of him, thinking that his brother was making him happy.

One big and one small, one stupid and cute, one naturally dull, they got along unexpectedly harmoniously. When the door of the bedroom opened, Yun Jinshu and Han Jiang saw such a scene.

"Douzi, what are you doing?"

Yun Jinshu watched in amazement that the elder son was twisting and twisting in front of the younger son, like a wriggling caterpillar, with a terrified expression on his face, he was so stupid that he couldn't bear to look directly at him.

"Ah?" Kidou was stunned for a moment, then stood at attention, put on a look of "I'm a brother, I'm very steady", and said crisply, "I'm discussing literature with my brother."

"puff……"

Han Jiang who was standing next to him couldn't help but spitting out, but in order to save face for his eldest son, he had to suppress a smile and say, "Well, does your brother understand?"

"I must understand." Kidney Dou wished to upstage his younger brother in front of his parents, so he hurriedly stepped forward and hugged his younger brother on the crib, pretending to be a respectful brother.

Little Baozi was also very cooperative, and he said a series of woo-woo-wa-wah, and Kidney Dou nodded and said, "Look, my brother is talking about facts better than bear's poop."

This time Yun Jinshu couldn't hold back, and burst out laughing, there was really nothing he could do about this quirky little guy like Kidou.

"Okay, okay, I know you are good, hurry up and eat and play, your mother and I are going to put my brother to sleep."

Kidney Dou heard that the radar on his head was beeping an alarm. Papa and Mama drove me out, but left the little oil bottle behind.

As he said that, he stepped on the small bench and climbed onto his younger brother's small bed, hugged his younger brother and said, "No, I'm a good brother, so I must stay with my younger brother."

Yun Jinshu, who was about to change his younger son's diaper, was in a dilemma, "You hold my brother so tightly, how can I change him?"

Kidney Dou nodded obediently, and after letting go, she moved closer to her younger brother's panties and said with a look of surprise, "Oh? Did I also wear these when I was a child? It looks so boring."

"What's so great about this, little fool, you were also raised by your father with shit and piss."

"Han Jiang, are you looking for a beating?" Yun Jinshu threw a sharp look at him, did he say that his son was raised by feces?

Han Jiang quickly patted his mouth to admit his mistake, and untied his youngest son's diapers. Kidou leaned over for a moment of novelty, only to hear his younger brother giggle, and in an instant, the boy's urine poured over his head and face...

Yun Jinshu: "..."

Han Jiang: "..."

"Oh..." Little Baozi was sleepy, and turned over clumsily, revealing his white and tender buttocks, with an innocent expression on his face.

The two parents looked at each other, and then the unscrupulous parents laughed wildly, almost knocking the roof over.

The poor Kidney Dou squatted on the ground and drew circles, hmph, my brother is so cruel... ┭┮﹏┭┮

-

In fact, it wasn't his new little brother who broke Kidou the most. After all, even though the younger brother was so weak, he always bullied him [Obviously you are the one who bullies others, okay? ], but at least the Q bomb is soft and waxy, and can be rounded and flattened at will.

But for a man [Big Fog], a masculine name is more important than anything else, but it's clear that his one-on-two parents are not aware of this problem.

Back then when the couple had conflicts, they abused each day one day, and another two days, and the blood was flying everywhere. They didn't have time to sit down and give their eldest son a famous name. As a result, "Kidney Bean" A name that is often gray and temperamental has been with him for six full years.

It wasn't until he reached the age of primary school and had to change his official name that the couple realized the seriousness of the matter. They searched through the dictionary all night but couldn't find a suitable name. In the last resort, Han Mama With a big wave of his hand, he said, "My son was born in Vancouver, or he should be called Yun Xiaowen."

Yun Jinshu snorted coldly, looked at him with a half-smile and said, "What's the matter? I don't have any more feelings for Wen Zeyun, are you going to borrow your son to express your feelings?"

Han Jiang's face immediately turned green, he smiled awkwardly, and said obsequiously, "Oh, I didn't say anything just now, look, I said don't stay up late during pregnancy, now you are hallucinating."

"roll."

Yun Jinshu threw him two white sanitary balls, and changed his position on the chair. Han Jiang immediately put a backrest on his back like a dog's leg and said, "If you don't want our son to be called Yun Xiaohua, it sounds very special when you hear it." temperament."

"Hehe." Yun Jinshu sneered, "Yun Xiaohua, Yun Xiaohua, you don't like having a daughter, do you?"

Han Jiang gasped, deeply feeling that the pregnant husband's temper was terrible, capricious and eccentric, but his daughter-in-law was in charge of life and death in the family. He knelt on the washboard for three months and didn't want to do it again.

"I've been wronged... Our party said it well, it's the same when you give birth to a boy or a girl, if you give birth to a child who doesn't study, it's better to raise a pig!"

"Okay, okay, don't dangle in front of my eyes, it makes me dizzy."

Yun Jinshu yawned and waved his hands. In order to name his son, he insisted on not going to sleep. It was already three o'clock in the morning, and he was really sleepy.

Han Jiang has also learned to behave now, so he leaned forward and said, "Why don't you do this, my dear, you just open the dictionary and point to a word, and if you choose me, immediately say hello to the leader of the police station where the registered permanent residence is registered."

"Hmm..." Yun Jinshu responded casually. He is not feeling well right now, he is lethargic, and now he hears Han Jiang talking endlessly in his ear, leaning on the chair, he is almost falling asleep in a daze .

As soon as Han Jiang heard his daughter-in-law gave an order, he didn't dare to delay. He carefully held the dictionary to Yunjinshu's hand, watched him flip through a few pages randomly, without opening his eyes, pointed to a word and said, "...um... ...that's all."

Han Jiang slapped his thigh, and said in admiration, "Yun Xiaoge, what a name, daughter-in-law, you are such a good rape flower!"

Yun Jinshu didn't have the strength to talk to him anymore, and fell asleep leaning on the soft cushion. He didn't hear what Han Jiang was talking about at all, and even when he was in a daze, he didn't even remember that he chose such a foolish name for his son. .

After all, Han Jiang is a second-generation red man. Even though he has been in prison, and even now he is "a husband and a child" at home, his contacts and wrists are still very powerful. A phone call was made to the police station, and the comrades who were on duty that night took out the brand new red small book of household registration. Sent to Emerald Villa.

Therefore, the three words "Yun Xiaoge" became the eternal shame in Kidney Dou's heart.

He has been looking forward to having a domineering name for himself, such as Yun Batian, Yun Jingang, Yun Yingxiong, etc., but "Yun Xiaoge" is really too girly, not cool, handsome and domineering at all, which really affects him The image of an iron-blooded true man!

For this reason, he has protested to the couple countless times, but Yunbaba's pregnancy syndrome is terrible, and it will explode at one point. It was passed on ten to ten, and even in class, there was a blushing little boy who stammered to confess, "Ge...ge...Gege, I miss you."

cluck cluck you uncle ah!I am not a hen!

So, Kidney Dou's young heart planted the seed of "baba mama doesn't love me" again...

This day is the first birthday of Little Baozi. According to the custom in ancient times, adults should prepare Zhou Zhou rituals for their children. The so-called "Zhou Zhou" means putting scissors, brushes, coins, snacks and other small objects in front of children. , Let him grasp it according to his feeling, and what he catches means which industry the child will engage in in the future.

Originally, according to Yun Jinshu and Han Jiang's wishes, he also wanted to give Kidou a make-up Zhou Chow Ceremony, but the eldest son is really too old, and maybe the snack guy will grab all the snacks as soon as the Chow Chow Ceremony begins.

After much deliberation, the two did not prepare for the eldest son in the end, and Kidou became sad again, nestling in his younger brother's bedroom, groaning and unhappy.

"I'm so tired, I feel like I won't love anymore..."

The little guy sat on the bed with an old-fashioned expression, sighed long and short, but grabbed the toy with his younger brother relentlessly.

"... woo... woo..."

Little Baozi is very pure in heart, seeing his brother who is always dancing(?) for himself is unhappy, so he plunges into his arms, rubbing his chubby little face against his brother's loneliness, his little butt sticking up to the sky, showing The pink and tender hellokitty on the diaper.

Kidney Dou gave him a look of disgust, and couldn't help poking at his younger brother Bai Nen's PP.

Tuyan!It's a crime to have such a soft and cute butt, I'm telling you, I don't like this!

Thinking of this in my heart, I still didn't forget to pinch my brother's little PP again.

Seeing his brother ignoring him, the little bun didn't give up, raised his little head and grabbed his brother's shoulder, stood up danglingly, kissed Kidney Dou's cheek, then narrowed his big eyes again, smiling like a fat cat Doodle little lucky cat.

Fuck!How cute is foul?

Kidney Dou covered his chest, and was instantly killed on the bed. The younger brother crawled to his chest, laying on his stomach like a little turtle and remained still.

At this time, the resentful Kidou squinted and suddenly saw the small tray on the other side of the bed, which contained a lot of small objects that would be used to catch Zhou Li later, and the little kid had an idea and smiled evilly.

HIAHIAHIAHIA... Didn't you give me a Zhou Catch Ceremony?Why don't you give me a name that doesn't look cool at all?Didn't you snatch papa and mother's love?

Today, I will let you see what a "black belly" is!

Thinking of this, Kidou sat up quickly, and the little meatball lying on his body fell to the bed and rolled, showing his big watery eyes and looking at his brother, "Wooah...baa..." as if to say Brother, are you swollen?

The evil elder brother laughed uproariously, squatted beside the bed and took out the things in the small tray one by one.

In fact, the so-called catch-the-week ceremony has evolved into modern times, and it is no longer used to predict the future of children. More parents like to use this method to name their children.

For example, parents will look through the dictionary in advance, choose some words that they like, and make small notes and stuff them into small objects for grasping. When the time comes, the children will use whichever word they catch, which is convenient and auspicious. .

It is obvious that Yun Jinshu and Han Jiang, the cheating couple, have learned the lesson of naming the eldest son. This time, they went through the dictionary a month in advance and chose a lot of cool, handsome and domineering words for the little bun. But in the eyes of the eldest son who was in the rebellious and melancholic period, such a move became out-and-out partiality.

Therefore, Kidney Dou finally seized the opportunity to avenge his shame this time, and of course he will not let it go easily, HIAHIAHIAHIA...!

The little guy shrank his head and took out the slips of paper one by one from Zha Zhou's small object. Although he didn't recognize several characters, the characters with so many spicy strokes were particularly evil and crazy at first glance. Xiao Qingqing was so envious and jealous, she picked up the watercolor pen and began to write on the blank paper.

Hmph, give me such a motherly name, I want my younger brother to accompany me!You bad guys!

Although Kidney Dou has not finished the first grade of elementary school and cannot write many words, this does not prevent him from playing tricks on his younger brother, because he knows Chinese pinyin, isn't he particularly annoying!

When it was almost noon, Gu Yan and Zhao Hanchuan brought gifts to participate in the Zhou Catch Ceremony of the little godson.

The gift that Gu Yan brought was a pair of golden bunnies. Yun Jinshu glanced at it with a smile and said, "You give such a precious thing to such a young child. It can be seen that Gu Yingdi has a rich family."

Gu Yan winked at him, picked up his teacup and took a sip, "I don't dare to do that, you are now the number one person in power of the Han family, with tens of billions in your hand, how dare I compare with you, I should give it away just because the child is young Expensive things are hard to buy Xidezi."

Yun Jinshu shrugged his shoulders with a smile, and Zhao Hanchuan came up to him at this time and said, "Actually, Gu Yan is quite good at giving things. I went to Wufeng Mountain to burn incense that day, and I specially made a fortune for your youngest son. This little guy Life lacks water and gold, so it’s auspicious to play with the little golden rabbit.”

"Then what did Dapai Zhao send?"

At this time, Han Jiang carried the little bun and walked down the stairs, followed by Kidney Bean. The little guy was wearing a bear sweater, and he looked so fresh and fresh.

Zhao Hanchuan grinned, a look of embarrassment appeared on the face that is always cold to outsiders, he took out a bottle of mineral water from his pocket and said, "Gu Yingdi sent gold, of course I have to send water, this water is what I brought from the plane. There is no snow water on the plateau at an altitude of 5000 meters."

"..." Everyone groaned, often looking down on this penny-pinching iron rooster.

The four adults got together and chatted for a long time, hugging the little buns in turn, kissing and rubbing each other, the little guy was not impatient, giggling at everyone, being silly and dumb, and captured the two godfathers again heart.

At eleven o'clock in the noon, the Zhou Catch Ceremony officially began.

The little bun was lying on the sofa staring at the big plate of colorful things in front of him, his eyes widened in curiosity and shock, his chubby little hands pinched this and touched that, the four adults watched intently, not forgetting to come up with some bad ideas.

"Grab that pink Grandpa Mao, hurry up, grab it and give it to Godfather Zhao."

"Old Zhao, what do you know? Jin Shu's child must be an artist in the future, baby, listen to your godfather, grab that flute."

"Hey, that's enough for you two. My real dad is still here, so don't give me directions."

"Short oil, isn't Young Master Han a husband and son at home to become a mother? Now the elders of us are talking, why are you meddling?"

"Zhao Hanchuan, wait and see if Li Ke can clean you up!"

"That's enough, that's enough, there's no end to it, the three of you are still yelling after the son has been caught?"

Yun Jinshu picked up his son and put it on his lap, and rolled his eyes at the three very embarrassing men opposite, Kidou leaned over and asked crisply, "Dad, what did my brother catch, look quickly, I want to see! "

The three men who were arguing rushed over, staring at an embroidered purse and a rattle in the little guy's hand with big eyes.

Yun Jinshu unwrapped things unhurriedly and took out two small slips of paper, but frowned upon seeing it.

Who will tell him what's going on with this cheating Chinese pinyin?

"TING, TINGTING Yuli"

"Yun, my father's last name"

The four adults froze for a moment, and then laughed uncontrollably. It must be the kid Kidney Dou who is playing tricks again. Who would write the word "Dad" on a note, you idiot.

Yun Jinshu rubbed his forehead with a smile, and was about to call Kidney Dou over, but the little guy who was standing beside him hugged his head and ran away, fearing that his father would slap his butt, he still kept yelling loudly: "Brother, save me! "

I didn't expect Little Baozi to be really loyal, and he didn't see his brother "dancing" for him every day, rolling around on the sofa with his legs up and down, close to being cute.

Han Jiang fell down with a smile, grabbed Yun Jinshu's hand and said, "Forget it, forget it, one of these two treasures is willing to fight and the other is willing to suffer. They are making out, so don't worry about it so much."

Of course, Yun Jinshu would not really be willing to settle accounts with Kidney Dou, but right now he has a headache again, "What about the matter of naming? One Ting and one Yun, they sound like little girls no matter what, and you can only catch Zhou once. It doesn't work."

Han Jiang rubbed his chin, glanced at Zhao Hanchuan and snapped his fingers, "Didn't Lao Zhao just say that his son's life was short of water? Why don't we just use 'ting' with the same pronunciation as 'ting' and thunder."

Gu Yan laughed when he heard this, nodded and said, "If this method is used, I also have an idea. 'Yun' and 'Yun' have the same pronunciation. This baby is short of gold in life, so I will add another gold character next to it, and take it as 'jun' '."

Instantly, Yun Jinshu's eyes lit up, "Han Tingjun, Thunderbolt, pay attention to this!"

"Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" The little bun sat on the sofa foolishly with a cute expression on his face.

Han Jiang picked up his son, kissed him and said with a smile, "Son, your name will be Han Tingjun from now on."

"Ow~"

The big baby saw his father laughing, and he laughed too. Finally, he played a PP excitedly, and then saw Han Jiang's face turn green, and said with a full face, "Damn! My son is pulling me all over!"

The remaining three men in the living room burst out laughing instantly. Young Master Han, who is a husband and a teacher, is so virtuous!Give a good review, dear!

Kidney Dou, who was squatting in the corner of the living room, silently drew circles.

Tuyan, Tuyan, Tuyan...you bad guys!I want to run away from home!

That night Kidney Bean, carrying his little yellow duck schoolbag and Lucky Cat piggy bank, embarked on the journey of running away from home. When passing by his younger brother's room, he couldn't help but go in and poke the Q bomb's little butt, but was caught The younger brother grabbed the corner of his clothes and exposed his belly for him to touch, but the touch never came true.

It's a foul for being cute! QQ